Reflections on Latvia...

I promised myself I'd be better about updating this thing, but I haven't been. =( So as of my last update I was still wrestling with a call to ministry. Its something I always thought I would be good at, but being good about something doesn't mean its your life's calling. So I've been wrestling God on this one for about 2 years. Update: I'm on the mat and God has me pinned down. All we need now is a three count.

I wanted to share some thoughts on my Latvia trip and maybe share some things that are happening in my life right now. So I was a sponsor on a youth mission trip to Latvia. My job was to provide spiritual. emotional, and even physical leadership. My job was to be a mentor, a friend, and a disciplinarian. Well, I wont lie that I felt a little disappointed in the trip. My first trip to Latvia was so amazing that it definitely changed the direction of my life...this time it felt more like baby sitting. Well, a week after returning I have a different perspective. I had the pleasure of reading the response cards - everyone who went on the trip had to write a report on what God was doing in their lives - of everyone on the trip. It was amazing. God spoke to their hearts, changed their lives...it was very encouraging. I figured the thing that was bothering me was that I felt like I had no spiritual leadership role. I was not preaching, or teaching Bible... I was just there. Well, God has since reminded me that HE is the spiritual leader. And sometimes his call in my life is to sit there and be quiet. Sometimes to be a comforter not a challenger. Sometimes being the quiet example instead of the man on stage yelling at you with a Bible.

So we spent two weeks there. We ran a youth camp, and a couple sports camps, walked more that I have all year until that point...met some great people, strengthened relationships with the people I had already known. All together it was a great trip and I am grateful for the chance to go. Shortly after returning, all the youth, all my close friends who work with the youth, and all the adults who I look up to all left to youth camp for a week. Well, it was a good time for Carlos to sit and stew about how much my heart longed to be doing youth camp instead of sitting at work mixing chemicals. And I think that was the missing ingredient. I LOVE what I do at the church. It fills my heart with joy and love and peace and happiness. I just like what I do at work. Why can the two not be the same thing?

So here's what I decided: I will start seminary this fall. I have applied to B.H. Carroll Seminary, a school designed for full-time professionals. I will be getting a Masters in Divinity, with a mission emphasis. It will take me a long time. I have applied to an open teaching position at one of the Richardson high schools to teach Chemistry (I don't know which one has the opening yet). And I will see how far God wants me to make changes right now. If I get the job, it will allow me do all the summer mission work and youth work that God has called me to do, and honestly will help me hone my teaching skills necessary to be a pastor. Please pray for me as these things happen. Its not scary. It almost seems like for the first time I know what I'm doing. I just need it to happen now.