Roadblocks

The biggest thing that irks me about this whole thing..is that at my current size: every time I get into a good exercise routine...my knee craps out. It hurts. And I understand its pain, this is a lot of weight and the shocks eventually wear out on your car too. So I have to wait it out. I can't do much with it. Pool exercise maybe? Whatever the case, there are so many things I"m learning about myself, my lack of discipline, and my heart.

1) I am selfish. When it comes down to decisions of health I'd much rather do what makes me feel batter, rather than what's better for me. This is true of my relationship with God too, and I guess that the bigger issue.

2) My emotions guide my eating. I have suffered some depression these past couple weeks. Some things going on in my circle of friends that has really hurt. Instead of rolling with it, instead of dealing with it, I have not been eating well at all. Result? Gained back about 3 pounds in two weeks.

3) Being this big saps the energy out of you. That plus just generally feeling down on yourself is not a good recipe for making it to the gym. But I'm tired of living like this, and I feel like I'm missing my own life!! Efforts redoubling.

I'm His.