Race Wars

All men should strive to learn before they die What they are running from, and to, and why. - James Thurber

Variations of this thought have invaded my mind of late, stirring a troubled mix of conviction and desire to grow. There are few things in life that I find more painful than self-examination. We spend so much time and energy hiding our true thoughts from everyone else, that we've become exceedingly good at doing it to ourselves as well.

Why do I lack discipline?
What is God trying to do in my life?
Why can I not trust him more?
Why do I always feel like I'm letting people down?

These are just a few of the questions that continually haunt me. If my desire is to be a Godly man, why is it my actions tell a different story? What effect am I having on those around me? Am I effectively showing the love of Christ in my daily life? There has been a point this summer where I've come to the realization that my race is filled with detours. Sometimes I am just flat our driving down the wrong way. I have dreams of the finish line. I see the man God wants me to be, but he seems so far away right now. What am I running from? What am I running to? And why? It seems a worthy mental undertaking. It seems a worthy goal to discover